Diplomatic Approach

I'm beginning to feel almost settled in here at the farm(stead). We've got a good supply of firewood put up that will likely last us through next winter, we've gotten enough furniture that we don't feel like we're camping out in lawn chairs anymore, and we've gotten just about all the tall weeds around the place knocked down.

Since Spring has sprung and things are starting to grow around the place, I thought I'd try a diplomatic approach to the war of the weeds. By diplomatic I mean I tried talking to them. I've explained my position that I'm not sure what mower I will end up, but make no mistake... motorized chopping will be involved. Biological, chemical, flame, and mechanized assault warfare is in their future if they continue their unrestricted expansion activities.

In the likely event that my enemy will pay no attention at all, I've begun a warfare buildup of my own. A small mechanized assault mower is being readied for battle in the barn, an old armored 0 turn mower should be delivered early next week ready for battle. Infantry diggers have been equipped and trained and have already been engaged in skirmish action with enemy forward probes. Research into the most effective chemical warfare agent is being conducted. Decisions about the long term war plan and needed attack weapons and support equipment will be decided as we gain experience with our adversary.

We're in this war for the long haul, and things are just starting to get interesting!

Got any suggestions? ... help!